I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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