Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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