And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
