I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
