Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
