TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Randomize
