HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
