Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
