How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
