My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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