You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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