So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm just crazy horny about you
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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