no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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