Screwed.edu
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
