All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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