He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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