Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
