this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
