is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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