so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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