Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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