i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
