My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
