So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
