i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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