Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She is in my trunk
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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