I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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