This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
