My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
