i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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