Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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