Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
