im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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