Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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