Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
