my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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