C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
