omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
