So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
