it was like his penis was on wheels.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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