well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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