There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just want nice things and good sex
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
