My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
