70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she peed on how many people?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
