the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
