so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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