Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize