my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
