We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
