is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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