i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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