We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
