FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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