If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think people are normalizing furries
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize