so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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