i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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