im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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