What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I lost the right to judge tonight
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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