We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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