I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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